Sound Advice

Each month I look over the blog entries I have written in the previous years.  For example, this month I've read over all previous October blog entries - I'm sure you understand my point.  I'm often amazed at how time has passed so quickly, and how Amaya has changed and developed into the girl she is today.  But what interests me, and concerns me more, is how my blog entries have changed shape.  Don't get me wrong - I love the fun ones, the happy ones of family and friends.  But where have all the soul searching and honest ones gone?  I do know the answer to this question, but I guess it's about finding the courage to go there - again.

At my best friend, Alison's, wedding recently, I was honoured to take the role as one of her bridesmaids.  Part of this role was giving a speech because it's only fair these days that the bridesmaids are represented as much as the groomsmen - right?!  The speech I gave included a poem I had written entitled, 'To Love'.  As I was reading the poem I became a little emotional as I could hear and see the ladies around me, and in the audience, tearing up and dabbing their cheeks with tissues.  Often we underestimate the impact we can have on others.

After the ceremonies were over, people commented to me how talented I am at the written word - people I had never met before.  This was furthered with a conversation I had with Alison's brother, Leigh.  We got talking about our 'crafts' - he is a designer - and how often when you look at your craft every day, all day, it's difficult to establish its worth.  It's only when a third party sees your craft from another perspective that you again see its true value.  I also made a point to Leigh that I felt like I was constantly writing on topics that were too heavy and that readers may view me as a negative and miserable person.  Note: whilst I am emotional, and at times a little unbalanced, I am an optimist and always seek for more joy in life.

And so it was this conversation, Leigh's sound advice to get back into it, and of course the events of the wedding, that got me thinking about my craft and my blog.  Writing for me is a cathardic process - a way to express my thoughts and raw emotions.  There is so much more that I want to say - and to say it honestly.  And so much more that I want you to read.  I am a thinker.  I am constantly striving to be more and do more.  It's time I got back to sharing this with others.