To VBAC or not to VBAC?
Lately this issue has been on my mind. In my first pregnancy I had no option but to have a c-section because Amaya was in the frank breach position. This means she was in a U shape, with the bum first, and feet and face touching one another. Or as my British sister, El, says, 'She was in the pike diving position'. Many, many decades ago, Amaya or I, or both, may not have made it out alive without the option of a c-section. I think it's an important step forward that mums and bubs are given options in 2010.
Recently, some friends of mine have given birth to their first child/ren. All their birth stories are different. And all are different for many reasons. It all got me to thinking again about feeling a contraction. Being just as strong as those other women. Belonging to the 'club'. Feeling what I'm meant to feel as a woman - my rite of passage. I have also been an avid fan of the British documentary, 'One Born Every Minute', and have been amazed over and over again at the strength of women.
Thus far, there are no signs that I will not be able to have a VBAC. In fact, my doctor is very supportive of women trying this option. However, this is my main concern - VBACs are never induced. My arthritis this pregnancy has been horrific - I can only imagine what it's going to be like once I hit 38 weeks. If I had a c-section it will take place sooner. I don't know if I can bear 41 1/2 weeks.
So many different ideas running through me head. Any other ideas and opinions would be greatly appreciated ...
6 comments:
Ok...here are my thoughts.....for what they are worth.
First of all...the biggest 'club' of all - involving pain; heartache; sleep deprivation etc etc, if after the child is born - you are well and truly in this club and doing a fabulous job!!
Secondly, women who deliver VBAC do show strength....for the number of hours that they are in labour....but even the longest of labour is nothing compared to the strength that you show to endure Art...day in and day out.
Thirdly.....you have to do what is right and best for you!!! You have to be in the best possible shape that you can be in after the event.....so that you can be a mum to both your girls.
Whatever decision you make, will be the right one.....because you will make it for all the right reasons.
XX EL XX
I agree with El. You are already part of the club. Don't think for a minute that you have not passed the 'rite of passage' because you have. And, to top it off, you deal with so much more than most. Having to do all of the same recovery that we other mothers do, while also living with your arthritis....I can't even imagine what strength it takes to deal with day in and day out. When the time comes, you will do what feels right, but don't let yourself think that you are 'missing' something. You are amazing!
xo
Shan - no one can tell you what to do (they never have been able to, don't imagine anyone can begin now)!
If you decide to go ahead for the VBAC there is always a chance you are going to have to have a c section anyway isn't there? So you will have braved another 3+ weeks of pain perhaps for no different outcome.
As to the "club" - I think you belong to enough hardship clubs as it is!
- Art
- full time working mother
- extremely uncomfortable pregnancy
Shan - you are one of the strongest people I know and I have so much respect for you. I trust your decision whatever that may be, you should trust it too.
Love Kim
I am a VBAC... however my case is much different - there has been a 16 year gap and I was desperate to have my second son naturally. The dr's said that if he comes on time that is fine but you will have to be monitored. He was 12 days late -mind you it took me four or five dr's before I found one who would let me go that long b4 they intervened. During the labour they kept a close eye on me and said if I wasn't in full labour by 5pm they had no other option... during this time I agreed with them.
As much as I didn't want to have a C-Section again, I didn't want there to be any problems.
A healthy baby and mum is much more important.
And when your child says - mummy where did I come from - you can truly answer - my tummy...
During labour the pain was like no other in this world however the pride I felt the next morning was worth the pain...
But lovely Shan, your body knows best - relax and enjoy being preggo. Listen to your body and all it's aches and pains and just know it's not the labour that is painful it's the years and years of 'mummy, can I ...' you fill in the blanks.
Stay strong - you are an amazing woman!
xxx
Donna
Surely the comments left by close friends say it all – you decide what’s best for you!
What a wise bunch of women you have surrounding you…xx
Martine.
I do not envy your decision. Intellectually and emotionally I scream 'make the decision you want, that leaves you emotioanlly and physically in the best shape' yet emotionally I can also only imagine all the feelings of guilt, the sense of judgement from some if you don't do whatever they believe a 'true' mother does etc. I agree so whole heartedly with El's comment, especially the comment that you will make the right decision because it will be right for you and your family and done for the right reasons for you. And that is what matters.
Whatever you decide I wish you a speedy recovery and a healthy baby
You are in my thoughts
Love always
Brooke K
{only part of a beautiful email Brooke sent me. xo}
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