This post makes me feel very nervous ...
Though it is not obvious to all because you do not physically see me, or have not seen me for some time, my body has changed since conceiving Amaya. But, those that do see me on a regular basis, I'm sure you have noticed the difference and are too polite to say anything - and for that, I thank you.
Here are the cold hard facts - well figures anyway (and sorry to those who use pounds!):
* Before Amaya's conception, I weighed anywhere between 75 - 78kgs (note: I was never a skinny minnie - just healthy and fit - see wedding picture above). I swam, went to the gym, cycled, and played netball. I measure in at 180cm.
* Just before the c-section, the nurse insisted I step on the bathroom scales. Now, we don't have bathroom scales in our house so the only time I ever saw my weight was when I was having my blood taken. Now, from the six month blood check to the end of the pregnancy, the bathroom scales made a drastic move - I weighed in at 104kgs. That's a total gain of 24kgs!!
* When I left the hospital after a six day stay, I weighed in at 97kgs. That's still a total gain of 19kgs!
Never in my life have I felt this terrible about my body. I remember moaning about my 78kg body - what I would do to have that back!!
Well, I'm here to say that some drastic actions have been taken in order to shed the kilograms before I arrive in Hong Kong (sorry Norbyah - nothing about your town, but just a goal and end in mind).
I have joined Curves - the 30 minute workout for women, and perfect for mums. At present, I weigh 93kgs. I intend to use this blogsite as my conscience for doing it right. Much like my tree (back in an October posting), I will keep you updated on my results. I don't expect to ever have the body I had before Amaya (especially the perky breasts, Emily - I couldn't agree more!), but I do want to feel happy and in control, and I certainly want to be within my weight range for my height. And, I already know that losing weight at 31 years of age is so much harder than at 21 years of age, but I will persist. Wish me luck ...
6 comments:
Good Luck Shan.
My friend reva just joined Curves and she loves it.
Even though you are gorgeous as is, I know exactly where you are coming from. I was very unhappy after having emily. I think you find though, as the kids get older your energy returns and your not so tired. The weight just seems to go. Before you know it, you will be back to where, you feel healthy and happy again.
cheers
Terrie
I love you the way you are Shan!
I completely know what it's like to feel really self conscious and have body image issues - so I can relate there.
I think you should give yourself a break. As long as you're living by the infamous quote: 'To thine own self be true', then your life will get back to the way you want it to be, in time.
You have a beautiful daughter. You have a gorgeous husband who loves you completely. You have lovely friends who think the world of you no matter what you look like or even how you perceive yourself. You hold a fantastic job where all your colleagues and students just adore you.
You are fabulous!
I do understand....
Love Alison xox
oh shan. my dear. i could have been writing this blog post myself. i, too, have been struggling with my post-pregnancy body. i don't even know where to start. i'm thankful that you shared what you've been going through. you are NOT alone. if you haven't yet, check out the link on my webpage to www.theshapeofamother.com
i think it's fantastic. and necessary. what you are going through is not out of the ordinary. i am going through it, too. good luck, and keep me posted!
Shanny you are brave to make this post to the world! I am having my own body issues which I generally prefer to keep to myself. Being over 30 definately makes it harder and I haven't even had a baby yet. Its funny how you look back at a previous weight such as 78kg and at that time you would have still not been happy, but now looking back it would be so great to get back to that! I am the heaviest ever at the moment and it freaks me out. Congrats on making a positive change. It will be a slow process but I am confident you will get there in the end. You are lucky to have Luke for support. Having a supportive and loving husband definately helps. All the best, i look forward to your results. xx R
To my beautiful Shan,
I have just read your blog spot on the post baby weight issue and as others have said, I can totally relate to how you are feeling. Well done at putting a positive spin on how you plan to tackle this challenge in your life, but may I share with you one piece of advice I believe an angel whispered in my ear one day. I was looking at my some-what changed and much bigger body in the mirror one morning before my shower and I said to myself "my God, what has this pregnancy done to me?" Then i heard... "If this is the price you payed to gain your beautiful son, isn't it the best bargan you ever came across?" I try not to complain any more, though I still wish for my former self. Good luck my friend. Please know, just like the absence of your bindi, I see not your weight but your style whenever you are near me.Jo xxxx
Shan,
I think you must be doing very well ! I honestly thought you looked wonderful when I recently caught up with you at Rach's dinner. I enjoy reading that you are not putting too much expectation on yourself and understanding of where you are at in life now and not 10yrs ago.
We are all guilty of being self conscious about ourselves at times and your personality,soul,smile and laugh will always shine through ! :-)
all the best and chat soon,
tone xxx
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