Five Months

From my diary ... pregnant with five months to go ...

'Life is travelling smoothly, but there is no doubt that I find pregnancy overwhelming and hard work. I am excited about my new life, but fearful of the labour. I must admit that I want to regain control of my body, but someone is with me 24/7. Each night I look at the baby's scan pictures and I feel a sense of warmth and pride. I am convinced it's a boy, and a spitting image of Luke.'

From my diary ... one month after Amaya Eve was born ...

'Since Amaya's birth, my life has been turned upside down. I want to take the time to write down some questions about how I can find the inner strength to get through each day (in particular, the night):

1. How do I keep on top of the housework?
2. How do I keep my friends and social life?
3. How do I keep my life 'real'?
4. How do I maintain a loving relationship with Luke?
5. How do I know what Amaya wants and needs?
6. How do I continue to cope with sleep deprivation?
7. How do I maintain a positive mood through extreme exhaustion?
8. How do I keep my arthritis under control?
9. How do I get my old body back?
10. How do I maintain my sanity at home?

These questions are on my mind, every day. My 'to do' lists are no doubt vital for my sense of achievement on a daily basis - even if I only strike two items off the list! But there are still so many more questions above that require answering.'

On my blog ... present day ...

Amaya is now five months and I am now five-months-the-more-wiser. Whilst Amaya is not a boy, she is the spitting image of Luke. Throughout the pregnancy I could not fathom avocado. At other times in my life, I have always loved avocado, particulary avocado and tomato on toast with some ground pepper sprinkled on top - yum! Funnily enough, Luke cannot stand avocado. This was one of the leads that made me think Amaya Eve was Lawson Erik (our chosen name for a son). When Amaya was shown to Luke and I above the c-section screen, we questioned the doctors several times about the gender of our first born. We were in such shock to be presented with a daughter - I had even poisoned Luke's mind.

Nonetheless, we are blessed, ecstatic, warmed, and so so proud to have our precious gift. At five months this is what I know about Amaya:

She is an old lady - she has certainly lived before.

She loves to sleep with Turkel.

She laughs from the bottom of her belly.

She has the longest eyelashes.

She rolls over onto her tummy, but cannot find a way back - yet.

She loves cuddles.

She is 'one out of the box' - as expressed by Luke's friend, Rod.

She is so so happy to the point that even the butcher comments.

She kicks her legs vigorously in the bath.

She eats all vegetables (but must now try avocado!).

As for me and my questions above ... organisation is the key and less sleep! It's amazing what I can accomplish in two hours whilst Amaya takes a nap. Now, at five months, only questions 8 and 9 remain unanswered. Perhaps the answer to them is more about dealing with my new package and working with it from there.

PS Rod - you now have to leave a comment since I mentioned your name! And as I promised, there are no photographs of you and Amaya!