This book had been on my 'to read' pile for some time. In fact, I had made a start on it, but it didn't really take me anywhere so I kept putting it back on the pile. But so many people had read it and raved about it that I was determined to finish it as part of my 34 List.
Usually I'm not into feel-good/self-help books. But once I got passed finding God on the bathroom floor, her marriage finally coming to an end, and her talk of pasta and pizza, I was intrigued by the author's perceptions on life. Here is one of those perceptions that moved me so much that I reread it several times:
A true soul mate is:
the person who shows you everything that's holding you back.
the person who brings you to your own attention so that you can change your life.
the person who tears down your walls and smacks you awake.
not a perfect fit.
Often in the movies, the soul mate is the person you meet on a train, the one who finishes your sentences, displays the most romantic acts, and of course, have sex with on a lazy Sunday morning when your hair and make up look perfect - and don't mind the fresh morning breath! Far from real life and true perception, I say. Perhaps many relationships have ended because one partner is still searching for that perfect movie soul mate? Yet Gilbert enables the reader to understand that a true soul mate is someone who sees the worth in you, questions you when you falter, pushes you to achieve your very best, and most importantly, walks with you at all times with their head held high.
Another aspect of the text that makes me question my own thinking was mentioned by Richard, her Texan friend in India. In the text, Elizabeth is obsessing over her failed marriage. She questions where she went wrong, should she have struggled on for longer, and how could she fail at romance. At the monastery in India, Elizabeth's nickname was 'Groceries' because of the baggage she carries around in her mind. Richard's advice to her was to clear out the space in her mind that she was using to obsess about her ex-husband and the there would be an open spot - a vacuum.
I'm good at obsessing and ruminating over things in my mind. So much so that I fail to live in the moment, be able to let go, and wake during the night my mind full of worries - to the point I feel physically sick. What's with that? Imagine if I could just let go?! It's that search for contentment, and there's no doubt, it runs you down in the end.
Whilst this book did sustain me, it didn't move me in every chapter. At the end of the day, she still finds 'love' - for which I'm happy for her. But it did make me question the worth of her story for a single lady of similar age. Should they too seek love and hope that they too find a Brazilian man? A man who takes you to many other places during love making? Is that really all the answers to a single girl's qualms? Surely not. In fact, these are not the answers for a non-single girl. The answers to our qualms lie in our own journeys and struggles - and constant and consistent contentment seems to be mine.
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