My Quiet Prayer

Dear God,

I'm finding it difficult to cope.  I'm finding it difficult to cope when I open the newspapers.  I'm finding it difficult to cope when I turn on the television.  I'm finding it difficult to cope when I'm on the internet.  I'm finding it difficult to cope when I turn on my radio.  I'm finding it difficult to cope when I see the sorrow on my friends' faces.  But most of all, I'm finding it difficult to cope in my quiet time.

I know that you are busy and the world is racked with many disasters.  Today, I'm calling upon you to give all Victorians the strength to carry on.  Over the past two weeks, Victorians have faced tragedy on mammoth proportions.

Just short of two weeks ago, many on the Westgate Bridge witnessed a father get out of his car, walk to the edge of the bridge, and drop his young daughter to fall to her death 60 metres below - all while his two young sons watched on in the car.  I can only imagine the pain Darcy's mother must feel, the scar the brothers will always carry, and the guilt every witness will live with until they can find an inner peace.  And of course, the police, who were the first to reach Darcy's body floating in the water - their dreams will be filled with her face until their dying day.

I cried many tears for all Victorians.

And if that wasn't enough, the Premier warned us that Saturday 7th February 2009 could possibly be the worst day in Victoria's history in relation to heat and bushfires, which is a very normal part of an Australian summer.  But who would ever have possibly imagined what 'worst' could exactly mean?  On that Saturday the temperatures reached 47.9 degrees and most Victorians laid low in their homes in order to avoid the suffocating heat.  In the late afternoon a cool change came through, the wind changed direction and a thunder and lightning storm hit, and due to a culmination of natural occurrences, the already burning bushfires took on a new ferocity.    

Those close to the fire had no time to escape.  It came too fast, too wide and too high.  To date, the death toll is 181 and is sure to rise above 200.  Whole families have perished.  Many died in their cars trying the flee.  Others died when they were seeking shelter and safety in other venues.  Some died trying to save their homes.  Several died trying to save their beloved animals and pets.  One little girl died in the main street of Marysville with only a blanket on her back.  Numerous lie in the Alfred Hospital covered in burns, tettering on the edge of life and death.  

I have cried many tears for all Victorians.

And what of the wildlife?  The first that know a natural disaster is about to occur.  I remember when Luke and I were caught in Cyclone Heta (category 5) in Samoa, hours before the cyclone hit there were no animals in sight, and certainly no chirping from the birds.  It seems the animals have a sixth sense.  Well, on that Saturday, the wildlife too were caught out.  Many have perished trying to escape.  One photograph that appeared in the newspaper yesterday displayed a CFA officer giving a koala a drink of water from a bottle, whilst the koala hung onto a burnt gum tree.  What will the remaining wildlife now do for a home?

I have cried many tears for all Victorian animals and wildlife.   

Within this tragedy there are stories of courage and bravery.  There are the stories of many stranded in dams for hours watching their houses go up in flames, holding their breath as the fired passed over them.  There are the CFA officers still fighting the fires knowing they have lost their homes and even loved ones.  Their hearts must break at every corner.  There are the police on the front line dealing with anguished families wanting to get past the road blocks. There are the medical staff who ran out of morphine for the burns victims, and will be working around the clock to save all lives.

I have cried many tears for all our heroes - in the true sense of the word.

And finally, I cry because I know in my heart that it could have been the residents in the Dandenong Ranges, which means it could have been Luke, Amaya and I.  Who knows what has kept us safe this year? - thus far.  Just a couple of days ago my British sister El said to me, 'Why do such terrible things happen in the world?'.  My answer to her was, 'To remind us of our own mortality'.  And so I cry because I am still alive.  Every Victorian has had to confront their mortality this week.

I have cried many tears for all Victorians.

In closing, please God, give all Victorians the strength to go on, to find solace in one another, in their homes, and in their families.  Please God, I see the pain in all the people I meet in my daily life - from the man reading the newspaper in the local coffee shop; to El who has to drive past the fire damage every day to work; in Luke who knows only too well the pain of a police officer; to my daughter who remains happy because she has no idea of the tragedies that has struck us; to the numerous cars I see parked in the CFA carpark in Silvan on the way to work every morning; to a work colleague who has lost friends and another that had to be evacuated; to all Victorians - please God, give us the inner courage and fortitude to come to grips with our greatest tragedies, and to find the strength to rebuild yet never forget our darkest day.

Thank you God for listening to my quiet prayer.  I know that you are very busy.

RIP Darcy Iris Freeman.

RIP all who perished in the fires.

RIP the wildlife.

RIP the animals.

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Often a way to come to terms with grief is to write about how you feel, even with God aside.  So I would like to make this post an open forum to all people to talk about how they are feeling.  If you never feel comfortable to leave a comment, now is the time.  We will all find comfort and strength in one another.  You are all in my thoughts.